Drinking from the poisoned chalice

So the England manager's position is once again up for grabs - Fabio Capello proving himself a man of principle in his decision to resign over the FA not consulting him in a decision relating to team affairs.

Fabio walked away from the most lucrative contract in football, a bumper wage that always prevented fans and the media from embracing him as England manager, particularly when results started to dip.

Many feel that expectations of an England manager are far too high. World Cup victory in 1966 has proven to be the exception, not the rule, yet the press often whip up expectation ahead of major tournaments.

But then, this does sell papers. As does vitriolic coverage when we're inevitably knocked out.

For most sane England fans, it's not about failure, it's how you fail.

Glenn Hoddle's England side were knocked out of the 1998 World Cup by Argentina in the last 16. Similarly, Capello's team were eliminated by Germany in the last 16. But there's a world of difference between the performances in these tournaments. 14 years ago, the England side ran the gamut of highs and lows over four games. South Africa brought a horizontal line of intense mediocrity.

Harry Redknapp is the people's choice for England but those close to him advise caution. The national job was once labelled the highest honour in football management for an Englishman.

Now everyone is in agreement that the England job is a poisoned chalice.

If they still make chalices, outside of storing them as historical artefacts, then they owe a debt of gratitude to the world of football for keeping the word 'chalice' alive.

Should we assume that the majority of fans interviewed in the street or appearing on phone-ins are also big on their Shakespeare?

The most famous use of the term outside of football comes in MacBeth, where the central character considers the ramifications of murder.

But in these cases

We still have judgment here; that we but teach

Bloody instructions, which, being taught, return

To plague the inventor: this even-handed justice

Commends the ingredients of our poison'd chalice

To our own lips

Put simply, that which looks appealing could be be poisonous. Like the England job. 6 million pounds a year but potential career suicide. Steve McClaren can win as many Eredivisies as he likes but he will always struggle to free himself from his umbrella shaped prison cell.

Or you might say, he needs to get the shackles off. Again, if shackles salesmen are still making a living, it's thanks to the inhibited way in which managers send their players out.

Harry was among many of the pundits concluding that when it came to England in South Africa, the shackles needed to come off.

Seriously, when else are shackles talked about these days? When armed robbers and murderers have their legs tethered together with steel. Have eleven players ever struggled to such an extent that they might be confused for somebody on death row? Ask anybody that watched England v Algeria....

It's another example of phrases from the Middle Ages holding their own in football's lexicon. You might have noticed earlier I talked about running the gamut.

So if Harry is to succeed as England manager, I would advise him to master the medieval elements. Keep the gamut of emotions high, get the team playing shackle-less football and drink your champagne straight out of the bottle. Steer clear of any chalices.

Beginnings...

So this is my blog. My attempt to reach out to an audience that probably doesn't exist. Flaunting my footballing opinions beyond the 140 characters designated on Twitter. All for no foreseeable financial gain. Lucky you.

It's struck me in the past that every group of football fans, whether they're in pub, office or living room, believe they have the best football chat. The most incisive, the most on the money. And who's to say they're not right? You could usually pick either side of the fence to stand on when it comes to an incident or decision (unless of course it's the decision to wear T-shirts in support of a man charged with racism).

I've been dedicated to filling myself with as much pointless football information as I can for my entire life and I still don't even feel like I've scratched the surface. I like telling people about football and I enjoy being told about football in equal measure.

Which is why I'd like to focus on the men paid to offer footballing opinion. A friend once said to me he enjoyed a commentator because "he didn't annoy me." And really, that seems to be what most people look for in a commentator. Very few fully appreciate the role of the man sound tracking the action. As an Arsenal fan (there it is), my sense memory is dictated by that sound track. The actions of messrs Thomas and Adams cannot be separated from the words "it's up for grabs now" and "would you believe it?"

Yet opinion on pundits always seems universally negative amongst a large share of football's audience. Almost as if they have a problem with anybody dictating what they should think about the beautiful game. 12 months ago, Barclays Premier League football on Sky Sports was unimaginable without Keys & Gray. They weren't just part of the furniture, they were the furniture. But few would say they're missed now, even if you were to ignore the events that led their dismissals.

Match of the Day is the target for many a fan's ire, frustration seemingly stemming from a frequent lack of analysis. On a personal level, the role of Gary Lineker frustrates me greatly. I feel he's an untapped well of talent. Some will remember a documentary Gary presented for the BBC on Diego Maradona a few years back, in which he wowed us by speaking in Spanish. He provided great insight on what it means to play for Barcelona as Maradona did.

You see his passion for England spill out at international tournaments, offering the odd opinion on controversial refereeing decisions and tactical errors.

Yet the Gary we see every Saturday night provides little analysis, other than the occasional sheepishly obscure statistic - as if it's been placed there in an attempt to humiliate him. Why are stats considered embarrassing - stats are cool!

I'd rather hear Gary giving us 30 minutes of uninterrupted stats than half-hearted punditry. When Asamoah Gyan left Sunderland for Abu Dhabi, Gary attempted to tee up Alan Shearer with a ball across the 6 yard box by asking why Gyan had left for the UAE at this stage of his career. But Shearer refused to bury it. "As Steve Bruce says, I think he's left for reasons other than football." You know what Alan? Just say he left for the money - you're never going to meet him!

All of which makes Graeme Souness the undisputed daddy of football punditry. Gary Neville is proving an able apprentice. There's nothing he can do about his voice, face or footballing past but damn he's good.

But Graeme is simply golden. I won't bore you with a love letter. Allow me simply to present the jury with Exhibits A & B.

Using a sheet of paper as an impromptu mirror - that's punditry on your feet.

Anyway, that's all for now. I'm currently watching Season 2 of Twin Peaks for the first time, which is panning out like any recent Arsenal season. Exciting initially, terrifying at times, with a colossal fear that the ending will be utterly pointless.