Beginnings...

So this is my blog. My attempt to reach out to an audience that probably doesn't exist. Flaunting my footballing opinions beyond the 140 characters designated on Twitter. All for no foreseeable financial gain. Lucky you.

It's struck me in the past that every group of football fans, whether they're in pub, office or living room, believe they have the best football chat. The most incisive, the most on the money. And who's to say they're not right? You could usually pick either side of the fence to stand on when it comes to an incident or decision (unless of course it's the decision to wear T-shirts in support of a man charged with racism).

I've been dedicated to filling myself with as much pointless football information as I can for my entire life and I still don't even feel like I've scratched the surface. I like telling people about football and I enjoy being told about football in equal measure.

Which is why I'd like to focus on the men paid to offer footballing opinion. A friend once said to me he enjoyed a commentator because "he didn't annoy me." And really, that seems to be what most people look for in a commentator. Very few fully appreciate the role of the man sound tracking the action. As an Arsenal fan (there it is), my sense memory is dictated by that sound track. The actions of messrs Thomas and Adams cannot be separated from the words "it's up for grabs now" and "would you believe it?"

Yet opinion on pundits always seems universally negative amongst a large share of football's audience. Almost as if they have a problem with anybody dictating what they should think about the beautiful game. 12 months ago, Barclays Premier League football on Sky Sports was unimaginable without Keys & Gray. They weren't just part of the furniture, they were the furniture. But few would say they're missed now, even if you were to ignore the events that led their dismissals.

Match of the Day is the target for many a fan's ire, frustration seemingly stemming from a frequent lack of analysis. On a personal level, the role of Gary Lineker frustrates me greatly. I feel he's an untapped well of talent. Some will remember a documentary Gary presented for the BBC on Diego Maradona a few years back, in which he wowed us by speaking in Spanish. He provided great insight on what it means to play for Barcelona as Maradona did.

You see his passion for England spill out at international tournaments, offering the odd opinion on controversial refereeing decisions and tactical errors.

Yet the Gary we see every Saturday night provides little analysis, other than the occasional sheepishly obscure statistic - as if it's been placed there in an attempt to humiliate him. Why are stats considered embarrassing - stats are cool!

I'd rather hear Gary giving us 30 minutes of uninterrupted stats than half-hearted punditry. When Asamoah Gyan left Sunderland for Abu Dhabi, Gary attempted to tee up Alan Shearer with a ball across the 6 yard box by asking why Gyan had left for the UAE at this stage of his career. But Shearer refused to bury it. "As Steve Bruce says, I think he's left for reasons other than football." You know what Alan? Just say he left for the money - you're never going to meet him!

All of which makes Graeme Souness the undisputed daddy of football punditry. Gary Neville is proving an able apprentice. There's nothing he can do about his voice, face or footballing past but damn he's good.

But Graeme is simply golden. I won't bore you with a love letter. Allow me simply to present the jury with Exhibits A & B.

Using a sheet of paper as an impromptu mirror - that's punditry on your feet.

Anyway, that's all for now. I'm currently watching Season 2 of Twin Peaks for the first time, which is panning out like any recent Arsenal season. Exciting initially, terrifying at times, with a colossal fear that the ending will be utterly pointless.